don’t forget to celebrate easter this year by sleeping all weekend and then finally waking up on sunday
if anyone tries to stop you, tell them they’re infringing on your religious beliefs
this is the perfect way to celebrate
In the delivery room
mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor
Anonymous asked: What's your major in college?
mom that cigarette pack you found in my bag??? its a metaphor